Tag: The Truth of Marriage

The Christian Home

The Blessing of a Christian Home

Book of Ephesians 5:22-33

Before there was sin in the world God had already established the family.

Before there was a Church in the world, Satan had already made plans to destroy each and every family.

One of the greatest truths in all the Scripture was the passage we ended with last week.

Eph 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

In this passage the word “fear” is just like we understand it. We can expect to see the wrath of God if we ignore His commandments!

Fear is the passion of our nature which causes us to try to provide for our own security, expecting some evil to come.

It is the very next passage that we will see the first example of submitting to one another and it is the marriage.

The Bible is specific, a legal marriage is between one man and one woman, for life.

Note: This does not include those who claim an opposite gender. We are the gender we were born with!

God does not make mistakes!

Psa 139:16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

The marriage is to be the greatest example of the marriage of the Church to our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ!

Rev 19:7 Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.
Rev 19:8 And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.
Rev 19:9 And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God.

Many of us have failed while we were out in the world but knowing the Lord we should not allow this to happen again.

The Lord Jesus said we were ignorant of the truth of God and God is willing to forgive even this sin if we ask, but we will still endure the hardships of this broken relationship.

Thank goodness for the “Grace” of God that began with His “love” then His “mercy”.

When we submit to one another, we are surrendering to the power, to the will, and to the authority of another!

It should be obvious that these Scriptures describe the perfect marriage and the perfect family, but these must still be our goals.

*****Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

We must consider that “submission” is in fact the will of God and submission begins as we submit to the Lord.

We must always remember, God is a God of order!

We should remember what happened after Adam was disobedient to God being influenced by Eve. Adam allowed the love for his wife to come between him and the love for his Heavenly Father. This is the first step to a broken marriage!

Gen 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

The wife is to be in submission to their “own” husband, unless where God forbids. They are never to be in submission to anyone else as they submit to their own husband.

The obedience of the wife is at the same time the obedience paid to Jesus Christ!

Col 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, “as it is fit in the Lord”.

No one, wife or husband, is to come between us and Christ!

Which means only Christ the Lord is to come between husband and wife!

In case you are not listening, these are the commandments of God and not suggestions!

If we are walking according to our Christian walk, as we have been learning throughout this great book of the Bible, “we will be walking down the path the Lord has chosen for us”. It is only then we will know to take on a wife or a husband. It is only then that we can experience a loving and peaceful relationship under the watchful eyes of the Lord and be a benefit and blessing to Him!

Only after we have experienced the love of the Lord will we be capable to show that love to another human being!

Col 3:1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.

As the woman loves the Lord, she can please the Lord if she submits herself to her husband!

In other words, God instructs all wives to walk in the “spirit” of submission with their husbands!

We are all to please the Lord so, the Christian wives are to set their lives upon pleasing the Lord and then pleasing their husbands.

We should understand the Christian marriage is a partnership of two, one man and one woman, in the service of the Lord!

1Co 11:11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.
1Co 11:12 For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.

Each Christian family is to be the beginnings of a godly society!

We must also completely understand that God sees both the man and the woman as equals!

Gal 3:26 For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.
Gal 3:27 For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.
Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

This marriage of this man and this woman is to be God’s example of His relationship to the Church!

*****Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, “so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing”.

As God is speaking of the man being the head of the woman, God is speaking of function and order within the organization of the Church.

Every working organization will have a head and Jesus Christ is the Head of the church just as He is to be the Head of each family!

Just as Jesus Christ is the Savior of every believer, He is also the Savior of the Church!

The husband and wife relationship will work when they both desire “to please” rather than a desire “to be pleased”!

The true husband will govern his own household in the image of Jesus Christ who governs the Church!

The husband and wife relationship that is not working well, will also restrict their prayer life.

1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

The Christian husband and Christian wife relationship that is going sour, can also ruin the testimony of the Christian family.

Tit 2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, “that the word of God be not blasphemed”.

We must completely understand, that none of these things show that God says the woman is inferior to the man. These things all mean that God is a God of order and discipline.

In fact, the true family will rest upon that godly wife!

Pro 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Pro 31:11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
Pro 31:12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

There can never be two heads in any organization for that organization to work properly, and the family will not work without order and neither will the Church that the Lord built with His own blood!

*****Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

How does God love each of us? God has a selfless and unselfish love for each of us.

A giving love!

A sacrificial love.

A love of the mind as well as a love from the heart.

A love of commitment.

God’s love, is a love that commits itself to the will of each believer.

This is the same love that the husband is to have for the wife!

This is also the love the Lord has for the true church, which is the object of our Savior’s love!

The true church is made up of those who “were” defiled until they realized they needed a Savior!

By nature, the church is useless but, by God’s “grace” and the Holy Spirit, the church is a major force against the evils and the immorality of this world. “All because of the Father’s love for His Dear Son, and the Son’s love for us all”.

Joh 3:16 For God “so loved” the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Jesus Christ loves His church!

The same standard of the husbands love for his wife is the love Jesus Christ has for His church!

We must remember the order of creation. The woman was made from man, after man, and for the man.

It is the duty of each man to love his own wife as Jesus Christ loves His Church.

***Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

The husband’s love must be set apart and cleansed, just as the church.

To sanctify means to be set apart.

1) When a man has asked a woman for her hand in marriage, “then he must set himself apart” for her and her alone!

This means making an unbroken commitment to the wife he has chosen!

When the wife accepts her husband then she must also set herself apart, only for him.

Those that refuse to do so are already in a defiled marriage!

Just as the love the Lord has for the Bride of Christ, the husbands love, must be a sacrificial love!

2) Again, just as the Lord, the Lamb of God, the husband must remain without spot or wrinkle.

Spots would be abuse and mistreatment, loose behavior, immorality and other such things.

Wrinkles would be temper and reaction to temper, broken promises, neglect, selfishness, and rejection.

It is obvious that most every marriage is dependent on the love of the husband!

Very few wives would reject such love as a love that was like that of Christ for His church!

Again, what was the prayer of Jesus Christ?

Joh 17:16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
Joh 17:17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.
Joh 17:18 As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world.
Joh 17:19 And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth.

A marriage that is washed in the truth of the Word of God has the best chance of being a lasting marriage!

Therefore, God is so critical of divorce in such a marriage as two Christians in a marriage!

The Lord Jesus Christ will one day soon present a perfect church to His Father in Heaven as His bride and as Christians we will one day have reach this perfection.

This must be the goal of marriage, that the husband can present himself with that perfect everlasting partner in life!

Jud 1:21 Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.

Those who cannot love themselves have no business claiming to love someone else!

*****Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

We should see that the word “So” refers to the previous verse.

If that wife has not become a living breathing part of that husband, then to say he does not love her is to say that he does not love himself.

So, becomes the sin of that man!

This of course means that he is to love and cherish and provide for his wife, just as much as he loves and cherishes and provides for himself!

It is obvious that a marriage is a big step to take for every couple and these things should be taken into consideration.

It is also just as obvious that a marriage that is washed in the Word of God is a precious and wonderful partnership!

That word “nourish” means to feed, clothe, nurture, and look after that wife until she is the perfect wife.

That word “cherish” means to hold her ever so dear within his heart, to always be warm toward her with tenderness and care, affection and appreciation.

These words mean that it is a great obligation for a man to take a wife!

We could wonder then how can there be so many divorces in the Christian community?

It makes it easier to understand these words of the Apostle Paul:

1Co 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: “It is good for a man not to touch a woman”.
1Co 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

1Co 7:7 “For I would that all men were even as I myself”. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
1Co 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, “It is good for them if they abide even as I”.

That wife must be treated as a special gift of God!

What did Jesus say about divorce?

Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Mat 19:10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
Mat 19:11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.

The marriage must be a sacred bond between one man and one woman, who have already given themselves to the Lord Jesus Christ or there will be too many paths to failure!

*****Eph 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, “and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh”.

What is the perfect marriage? The husband has become “one” with his wife and the wife has become “one” with her husband!

Gen 5:1 This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him;
Gen 5:2 Male and female created he them; and blessed them, “and called their name Adam”, in the day when they were created.

This is the marriage that God first created by Jesus Christ! The very first marriage were one man and one woman who were one!

To be joined, is to be glued together with the substance of God’s Word that cannot be broken!

This should be our goal today!

This man and this woman should be so close together in their relationship, that those that see them see only one!

This union is to be much more than just living together and sharing each other’s body!

The physical union of a marriage cannot reach its ultimate fulness without knowing the mercy and the love of God, as we see in these Scriptures.

This is a union that will share life with each other and then eternal life in God’s Heaven, even though there is no marriage in Heaven we will know as we were known.

Mar_12:25 For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.

The angels do not marry. In Heaven we will not be angels but there are no marriages in Heaven because we will be joined to the Lord, a much higher union than even the perfect marriage.

This does not mean we will not know each other!

1Co 13:12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: “now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known”.

You see the spiritual union of those in a godly marriage will always remain, at least this is what I believe. This is the thing that can only be done by those wonderful hands of God.

The greatest thing in the world is to know the Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior and our God and know that we will have life abundantly here and in Heaven with Him!

Then these two, who are joined in marriage, cannot know true life without the Lord, here and in Heaven!

They will submit themselves together in the fear of the Lord vs21!

Day by day they will set out to nourish each other vs29!

They will work together to become a living part of each other vs30!

If the Lord so compares the godly marriage to the marriage of the church to Himself, how can these things not be true.

The Lord says, I will never leave you nor forsake you.

If the Lord deliberately shares spiritual things with us all and truly molds one man to one woman into one flesh spiritually, then this to is one of the greatest gifts of God.

All these things are to teach us just how much Jesus Christ loves His Church!

Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

*****Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

The true church, where the Lord Jesus Christ is the Head, is in an intimate union with Christ Himself!

The seat of worship is the heart of the believer!

Mar_12:30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

The union of the Lord Jesus with His church began when He took on the human nature and made it His own!

The Lord became flesh and dwelt among us and this has continued, with His union with the church!

The trouble in the marriage and the trouble in the church begins when either spouse becomes unwilling to be bound together by the Holy Spirit.

1Co 6:17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

It is this same Spirit that this man and this woman is to be joined in a fruitful marriage!

But nevertheless.

*****Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

The true marriage is a spiritual union that can only come by the hands of God!

Mat 19:10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
Mat 19:11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.

More than two people just agreeing to live with each other as we see so much of today.

More than a natural affection or infatuation.

More than a piece of paper or a legal contract.

Marriage comes first from a commitment to the Lord in a union unlike any other union on the face of this earth!

Marriage is to be an example of the tender, sacrificial love that the Lord has for each of those who call upon His name!

The Christian home is to have an atmosphere of the Lord.
The Christian home is to be managed by the Lord.
The Christian home is not a partnership of two but of three, the husband, the wife, and Jesus Christ!

Amen