Trouble in David’s Family

Book of 2 Samuel Chapters 13 and 14

Trouble, what does it mean? The Webster dictionary says: To afflict; to grieve; to distress. Disturbance of mind; agitation; commotion of spirits; perplexity; That which gives disturbance, annoyance, or vexation; that which afflicts.

What we will see is that King David had his share of trouble all his remaining days.

David suffered at the hand of God but this did not cause him to be a bad parent. He did that by himself!

In fact, God will never cause us to do terrible things, it is the yielding to our sin nature that is the cause these things.

Did this trouble affect the promise God had made to David? What was that promise?

2Sa 7:16 And thine house and thy kingdom shall be established for ever before thee: thy throne shall be established for ever.

What was David to learn and the reason God included all these things in the Bible? We will reap what we sow!

Job_4:8 Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same.

Gal 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
Gal 6:8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

In these two Chapters we will see the beginning of David’s troubles and we will also see him fail as a parent.

*2Sa 13:1 And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.
2Sa 13:2 And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her.

We can believe that only the Bible would insert such a record of the life of King David and still have believers who have confidence in the truth of the Scriptures.

I believe it is because the Lord does not hide the sin of these historical characters in the Scriptures, that we can have confidence in the truth of the Scriptures.

God does not condone sin, but the Lord Jesus died for all the sin of this world and the fact that we can believe these things happened, proves to us the actions of our own sin nature.

We must be on the alert for the actions of the Devil all the days of our lives!

When the world allows sin to go unpunished, we will see that God will not allow this to happen.

God chastises us because of sin and God’s chastisement can be very harsh.

In our world today, King David would only be guilty of attempted murder if it could be proven and it could not be proven in the days of King David because only Joab and the king knew the truth, which is except for God Himself.

It is because of David’s sin that sin entered his family.

Remember King David also had many wives and this sin will also show up as his children grew into young adults.

What had the Lord said of David’s chastisement?

2Sa 12:10 Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife.
2Sa 12:11 Thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.
2Sa 12:12 For thou didst it secretly: but I will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun.

Some of the things we will see from King David’s own family were rape, incest, revenge, deceit and murder, and there are always innocent victims.

Another thing we will see as the life of King David is opened before us is the fact that many things happen in the homes of the rich when the children are not properly taught the truth of the Scriptures and the sins of this world.

A good steward can come from rich families as well as from a poor family.

Wickedness is a terrible thing and we must defend against it in this world that is so full of it.

The recent slaughter of babies by the Palestinians called Hamas just show us how wickedness has no moral ground and nor does rape and the other atrocities that were committed upon the Jews, just because they were Jews.

This type of terrorism must be abolished along with all other forms of terrorism!

Amnon did not represent human nature that we do not see today. In fact there is so much rape done today that many do not consider it to be such an atrocity to society, but it still is.

Just like the things done by Judas Iscariot, Amnon, and later Absalom, are things we see almost daily throughout this world.

The difference between a sweet child and such corrupt men as Amnon, depends upon the views of society and our society is failing today and leaning toward the dark side of the devil.

We need a society who will express anger and indignation that cannot be mitigated or turned aside and it appears that only true Christians express these things and society does not see much danger from these things.

Certainly, the family of that person such as Amnon have the riches to try to make him completely innocent and lay the blame upon the young lady.

Why is our world so dark today? The innocent are seen as the guilty and the guilty are seen as not at fault.

It was the burning lust of Amnon for Tamar, who was also a child of his father David, which set Amnon on the path to his destruction and his death.

Amnon was at least twenty to have his own house but Tamar was probably still a teenager.

Amnon was a despicable person in his heart!

He craved and lusted so much for Tamar he became ill.

Tamar lived a pure, righteous life and Amnon could not figure out a way to get her into his possession so, a devilish schemer enters into this picture.

Tamar was the full sister of Absalom.

Sometimes our best friends are our own worst enemies!

2Sa 13:3 But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man.

Subtle in this case means; sly, cunning, crafty, deceitful, treacherous.

Jonadab was such a man.

Jonadab creates a scheme so that King David would allow his daughter Tamar to come into the possession of Tamar and he would cause her much harm all her days.

In fact we could say that Tamar never recovered from this terrible thing that happened to her!

The Bible says: Mal_1:14 But cursed be the deceiver,

Sadly, our own Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ was called a deceiver then and now, because He spoke the truth in a world that has gotten even further from the truth.

Mat_27:63 Saying, Sir, we remember that that deceiver said, while he was yet alive, After three days I will rise again.

Again this is the greatest problem in our societies today!

2Jn_1:7 For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist.

Jonadab was a child of the Devil!

*2Sa 13:6 So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand.

Amnon pretended to be sick enough that his father King David came to check on him and the evil, wicked, scheme of Jonadab was put in place.

Now you tell me, is this not a strange request to make?

King David should have known something was happening that was just not right, but he trusted all his children to do what was right.

We cannot trust our children to always do right when they are spending time together with the wrong crowd!

No doubt David’s children, at least the boys, were hanging out with the well to do crowd of that day.

Jonadab was a cousin to Amnon.

In other words, they were a bunch of spoiled rich brats.

We must also recognize the peer pressure our children are facing today.

We must also recognize that school higher ups intentionally do things that we would object to if we knew about those things.

Sometimes I believe we have forgotten how to be parents just as King David did.

Some were taught the Word of God and some were taught that there were other gods or many gods.

This was a failure of King David as a parent.

Even this would be looked upon in reverse today, as we live in a world that rejects the truth of the Messiah and the truth of the Cross.

When we teach these things, the world will say that we are wronging our children because we live in a sinful and dark world.

Tamar would never have been alone with Amnon had it not been that she was ordered to do so by her father, King David.

In that day girls of her age were not allowed to be alone with boys of her age and older.

No doubt that all the Jewish girls were taught home economics as we would say.

I can remember when these things were taught in High School.

Cooking, sewing and many other things.

Tamar obeyed because Amnon was her brother, not her blood brother, but they both had the same father.

No doubt they had played together as small children.

She had a brother and he was Absalom.

Later when Absalom had a wife, he named his daughter Tamar after his sister who moved into his home it seems after this incident and remained there all her days in shame.

Amnon requested that everyone leave but Tamar, and he did the unthinkable to his own sister.

*2Sa 13:11 And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister.
2Sa 13:12 And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.

Keep in mind that Amnon was heir to the throne of David at this time and it may be this one thing the reason King David did not punish Amnon.

Amnon was the prince of Israel.

The only thing we really know about Amnon is this thing he did to his sister.

Tamar begged Amnon not to do what he did.

Let us look back to the time of Jacob:

Gen 34:7 And the sons of Jacob came out of the field when they heard it: and the men were grieved, and they were very wroth, because he had wrought folly in Israel in lying with Jacob’s daughter; which thing ought not to be done.

Even today many consider Israel to be a holy nation for their relationship with Jehovah.

All acts of rape, lewdness, and indulgence in the sexual appetite, are things that just were not supposed to happen in a holy nation or in any nation.

The truth is, America is not a holy nation anymore because of these same type things and even more such things are happening in our nation because the laws concerning these things are so weak.

We should understand most of those in America do not want a holy nation or they would get off their cans and vote for changes in our government.

The Church is also far too silent because they are afraid, they will be called bigots and many other names but the truth is the truth!

We had better forget what the world calls us and remember that the Lord Jesus died for us!

If Israel and America fall, then the world will be in total chaos!

If Amnon is a type of the world and Tamar part of the holy nation of Israel of which David is king, we will see the beginning of the fall of Israel.

King David did not have it within his power to stop these things because he had been the cause of them, though this was no excuse.

Even when we are chastised of God we are still to act according to the Word of God!

It is the same for America.

We may never heal from the acts that began with Obama and continue with Biden, and America cannot survive four more years of Biden.

In fact we could say the deadly spiral America is in right now began in earnest with the Clintons.

After David came Solomon, who was wise and rich, but he held Israel together with force and taxes and at his death Israel became a divided nation.

Tamar would have nowhere to hide her shame and neither does America today!

*2Sa 13:13 And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.
2Sa 13:14 Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.

The crown prince of Israel refused to listen to his sister, he allowed his lust for her beauty to overcome his ties to his family.

We could say like father like son!

Amnon raped his half-sister as if she meant nothing to him because she did not!

Tamar told Amnon the truth.

Amnon was just as one of the fools of Israel.

This does not mean he was stupid or ignorant, but he was someone who had abandoned the fear of God!

At the death of Abner, David said these words:

2Sa 3:33 And the king lamented over Abner, and said, Died Abner as a fool dieth?

How did the Lord Jesus see these things?

Luk 12:19 And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.
Luk 12:20 But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?
Luk 12:21 So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.

We know that Amnon by the world’s view, would have been the next king of Israel by birth rite and he gave that opportunity away for a few moments of self-satisfaction and also destroyed the life of his half-sister and it cost him his own life.

After this thing took place, Amnon now hated his sister because it had never been about love, it was only about lust.

This is the same story behind many short marriages.

This is the same story behind most the abortions.

This is the story behind the queer movement.

This is the story behind the LBGT movement in America and in the world today.

Lust is a mode of destruction just as is all sin!

True love has been forgotten!

Amnon would fall victim to his half-brother who was a true brother to Tamar, Absalom, who was taking his time and made a certain plan to take vengeance upon his half-brother Amnon.

*2Sa 13:23 And it came to pass after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baalhazor, which is beside Ephraim: and Absalom invited all the king’s sons.

King David had become enraged over what Amnon had done, but King David knew he was at fault for all the things he had done with Bathsheba and Uriah and he did nothing when it was still his place to discipline his children.

David piled sin upon sin rather that accepting the consequences of his sin and growing through them.

Had he done so David may have saved his son’s life!

There is never an excuse for not disciplining our children!

Pro_22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

David should have at least tried to keep his children straight!

The time of sheepshearing was a festive time of parties and the inviting of friends.

Absalom’s plan to murder his brother was coming together and he knew his father King David would not come to such an event but he asked just to make everything seem innocent.

We see that Absalom knew about deception and in fact had King David have gone Absalom would have tried to kill him.

Absalom hated his father for not punishing Amnon and this one thing was his guide his remaining days.

All the brothers or half-brothers of Absalom also hated Amnon for what he had done but they did not hater their father as did Absalom.

The things Jehovah had told the prophet Nathan to tell David were all coming true.

*2Sa 13:28 Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Mark ye now when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say unto you, Smite Amnon; then kill him, fear not: have not I commanded you? be courageous, and be valiant.

Absalom felt himself bound in honor to avenge his sisters wrong and welcomed this opportunity to get rid of this blemish on the family of King David.

Keep in mind that with Amnon gone, Absalom was next in line for the throne of King David.

Absalom would become the new crown prince of Israel and Absalom would take advantage of this a little later.

The servants of Absalom would be used to kill Amnon just as the children of Ammon were used to kill Uriah.

God says what He means and God means what He says!

The other brothers of Absalom fled the scene and escaped to tell their father what had happened.

That old troublemaker Jonadab told the king that only Amnon had been killed and Absalom had made this plan from the time of the rape of Tamar.

Jonadab was David’s nephew and any good nephew would have informed the king of the plan of Absalom before it had taken place.

Absalom also fled but he fled to his grandfather, the King of Gesher.

This king’s daughter was the mother of Absalom and Tamar.

Gesher was located between the Sea of Galilee and Mount Hermon on the Syria side of Jordan.

David had made a covenant with this King and he had given his daughter to David to be his wife to seal that covenant of peace.

*2Sa 13:37 But Absalom fled, and went to Talmai, the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day.
2Sa 13:38 So Absalom fled, and went to Geshur, and was there three years.
2Sa 13:39 And the soul of king David longed to go forth unto Absalom: for he was comforted concerning Amnon, seeing he was dead.

After three years King David longed to see his son and the pain of the death of Amnon had now passed.

Absalom, during this time was making an even greater plan to cause harm to his father.

If we look, we can see all sorts of typology in these passages.

Next, we will see the time that Joab send a woman with an attempt to tell a parable, but all she does make a fool of herself.

Remember a parable was an earthly picture of a Heavenly truth.

King David sends Joab to bring Absalom home and as we would say, the plot thickens.

Chapter 14 verse twenty-one.

*2Sa 14:21 And the king said unto Joab, Behold now, I have done this thing: go therefore, bring the young man Absalom again.
2Sa 14:24 And the king said, Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face. So Absalom returned to his own house, and saw not the king’s face.

King David had not banished Absalom, he had stayed away himself.

But for King David not to pardon Absalom for killing Amnon was a dangerous policy.

In fact, it may be that Absalom had been confined to his house on the order of King David.

During this time, to Absalom were born three sons and one daughter and he named this daughter Tamar after his sister who would live the life of a widow for what Amnon had done to her.

Absalom was showing her that he still had respect for her.

It is these types of things that caused many in Israel to take their affection from King David and show it to Absalom.

David was looked upon as a harsh father and a bad parent but praise was shown to Absalom.

*2Sa 14:25 But in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.
2Sa 14:26 And when he polled his head, (for it was at every year’s end that he polled it: because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it:) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king’s weight.
2Sa 14:27 And unto Absalom there were born three sons, and one daughter, whose name was Tamar: she was a woman of a fair countenance.

Absalom began a plan to be reconciled to his father David.

In doing so, Absalom sought the praise of all of Israel.

In reality, Absalom was conceited, arrogant, and full of himself, self-exaltation.

Absalom had more pride in his hair than he did of his nation.

We see many such things as these in our young people today!

Absalom did his best to appear as royalty.

These things were working for Absalom.

Absalom did not cut his hair until it got too heavy for him to deal with day by day.

When he did cut it and weighed it, it weighed about five or six pounds.

The daughter of Absalom was named Tamar after her aunt of the same name and it is her daughter Maachah named after her grandmother who later became a future Queen of Judah, wife to Abijah the grandson of Solomon.

As we go on through our lessons, we will see Absalom go against his father David because he never forgave his father for what happened to his sister Tamar.

Amen